Having a healthy relationship is one of the greatest and most challenging goals you can have in life.
It takes two people to actively cooperate, grow and build a life where each party involved can flourish in a loving and supporting environment.
But what can you do when you hit those rough patches where you literally feel like you and your partner are not getting along?
I’ve got some great tips I have picked up over the years and I’m sure they can help you…
Hearing or saying the phrase “we need to talk” can be off-putting.
However, communication is the most important tool you have to help you bring your relationship to a healthy state.
Find a convenient moment and let your partner know that you love him/her very much. Mention that you want to discuss a few ideas that can benefit the relationship.
2- Make building a healthy relationship a priority in your life
We seem to be quite organised and plan our careers, fitness, finances but what about our love life? Shouldn’t we have clarity about what we want our relationship to be? I say we should!
I’m not saying you need to be controlling every detail of your relationship but it’s a good idea to know what a healthy relationship looks like to you and to your partner.
Once you understand each other’s goals and needs, you two need to make the commitment to prioritise building a healthy relationship.
That means setting boundaries and guidelines that will help you navigate difficult situations together.
In this way, when things get challenging you know you need to forget about your pride, surrender bad habits and cultivate good ones instead.
2- Define the issue
When your relationship hits a rough patch, when you and your partner seem to be getting on each other’s nerves and don’t seem to see eye to eye. You need to define what the problems are.
It’s hard to build a healthy relationship if you don’t know the areas you need to work on.
Ask yourself these questions: What are the topics we continue to fight about? Which behaviour from my partner is “driving me crazy”?
Get your partner to answer these questions as well. It’s important to understand both sides of the situation to look for effective solutions.
3- Be objective and lead by example
It’s important not to blame the other person and to try to be objective about the issues you are facing.
This is not the time to let your emotions cloud your judgement or to try to prove you are right. This is the time to listen, be strong and be present.
Giving and receiving feedback can be uncomfortable I understand that, but you need it in order to improve and become better partners to each other.
Make sure you are wise when choosing your words and remember your actions are also shaping your partner’s.
Be patient and resilient if your partner doesn’t have the same communication skills or personal development as you do.
Lead by example and teach him/her how it can be done in a healthy way.We cannot tell people how to be better, you gotta lead by example and show them. Click To Tweet
4- Go deep and work on yourself
At times you need to be brutally honest and question yourself.
Go deep and identify areas within yourself that haven’t been healed yet.
Perhaps something in your relationship is triggering you in some kind of way and it’s causing old wounds to come to the surface.
Rough patches in relationships are great opportunities for you to do some personal work and grow.
Believe me, if you two are meant to be together you will come out better and stronger once all this is healed.
5- Be realistic
If you can’t seem to find common ground, take a step back and assess if bringing a third party may be the next step.
Bringing a professional, someone with the experience and qualifications to help you navigate your challenges can be beneficial.
When you love someone and there is hope, each tool that can help you build a healthy relationship is worth trying.
Count in your mind the things you love about your partner.
Do it over and over again as a form of mental re-programming.
This will help you have clarity and remember why you are in a relationship with this person. I wish you all the best!
Remember, you are smart, beautiful and a master of handling tricky situations (that’s why you are in a relationship, right!) You got this 😏
Want to know if your partner is “The One”, check out this post to help you find out.
What do you love the most about your partner? Share it with us in the comments below.